Bye, Bye Paradise
by doryfishie
Summary: And hello Chaos. "Kakashi, what the hell is this?" "It's my literary wonder!"
1. Tall, Dark, and Ignored

**Note: Hello and welcome! Let's see, I've been working on several pieces recently but due to all my wonderful ideas and A.D.D. i rarely finish anything. I hope to update this regularly, but we'll see. I'm only posting this because my friend is bugging me...anymewho, i find it extremely funny and hope that as the story continues the chapters will grow longer, but they might also graduate to M rated, I'm still debating...**

**Listening to: Girls Just Want to Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper (haha, so true...)**

**Disclaimer: I bet you wish I owned Naruto, cause you really wanna see stick people going around pretending to be Ninja. I do however, own the 17th Naruto manga (KAKASHI GAIDEN) and several pieces of merchandise. **

_Chapter One: Tall, dark, and ignored._

_The black-haired youth walked down the street to greet his teammates at their usual stand. He actually despised the stuff, but because it wasn't worth the trouble to argue, he complied with his loud comrade's request of meeting there._

'_Oi Teme!' He was greeted by said teammate, and something stirred within him—_

"Kakashi, what the hell is this."

"It's my book!"

"...this better not be going where I think it is."

"And why is that Sasuke?"

"…"

'_Ohayo Sasuke-kun! Don't mind Naruto, he hasn't had any ramen yet.' greeted his more annoying teammate. It was pathetic how she clung to him._

'_Aa.' The youth with eyes like black smoke responded, sitting next to his preferred teammate. Instead of paying attention to him though, the blond started chatting with the pink head. Grrr…_

TWITCH.

"KAKA-SENSEI!! YOU BETTER NOT BE TALKING ABOUT SASUKE-KUN!!"

"Aw, Sakura, you do know what I write is true. Why just last night--"

"KAKA-SENSEI YOU BAKA, SASUKE-KUN IS NOT GAY!!"

_Character sighting: Uchiha Sasuke-_

_Tall, dark and handsome, the last Uchiha is every female's dream. Not only is he attractive, this young man is also heartless. Kunoichi everywhere come to see if they can win his stone-cold love. None have succeeded…yet._

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei, are you sure you're talking about teme?"

"Sure as that orange on your jumpsuit Naruto."

"Well then you might wanna add some stuff. Maybe say that he's a teme, and that girls really don't like him. He's also a loser and get's his ass served to him by Uzumaki Naruto, the guy who's going to be Hokage! Dattebayo!"

"We'll see if we can fit that in…"

**Reviews, favorites, alerts and everything are appriciated. I keep all the emails in a special folder in my inbox cause i'm such a stalker. More reviewslonger chapter&more updates.**


	2. Today, She Will Get His Heart!

**Note: What lucky little children you are: two updates in one day! Well, that's just because the chapters are too short, so I thought ya'll might need something more to get you hooked. I love you all, I love this fanfic, I love today, I love tomorrow, I love this song!**

**Listening to: Suddenly I see by KT Tunstall**

**Disclaimer: I don't even own the song i'm listening to, so what makes you think i own Naruto? I know, it must be my wonderful talent in drawing! Yes, that must be it. But the real giveaway is that I'm writing on this site, after all, it isn't called FANfiction for nothing.**

_Chapter 2: Today she will get his heart!_

_She had always been given everything she had wanted. She hadn't asked, but it was given anyway: the grades, the looks, the friends, everything, except for Uchiha Sasuke._

_Granted, he rejected everyone, but why her? She was pretty, she had above average grades, heck, she had been in his genin team! How could he_ not_ be falling for her? Naruto was, but he was Naruto._

_She wanted Sasuke-kun god damnit! How she dreamed of his love, his eyes on her instead of straight ahead, his hand holding hers. She wanted to wake up every morning and…_

"Wait, wait, wait! This is about forehead girl isn't it?!"

"Yes it is Ino, good job."

"HAHAHA! I know why she doesn't have Sasuke-kun!"

"Why?"

"CAUSE HE'S MINE!"

"Aa."

_Well, that was just a bit personal. She smiled at the thought of winning the avenger's heart. She knew she would, it was only a matter of time…_

'_Ohayo Sasuke-kun! Read for some one-on-one training?' Today she had paid particular attention to her appearance. It was the anniversary of when they brought him back after all! A whole year had gone by since then. Today he will be different!_

_She pictured them spending the day together. Training a little in the morning, then going out to eat at a fancy restaurant, walking all over the park, feeding birds, letting Ino-pig see them together (Oh, the look on her face would be priceless. She must remember to bring a camera), finally ending the day watching the sun set and then going back to his apartment for some fun._

_Today would be perfect!_

"Kakashi-sempai, what is this?"

"Why Shikamaru, it's my book!"

"Why would you write such a troublesome thing?"

"To spread the entertainment of my genin team so that all may enjoy it!"

"You do that…"

"If you're feeling jealous, I can always add you in."

"Troublesome…"

'_I'm not training with you today Sakura.' The words were like a knife through her heart, but time and repetition had dulled the hurt to a minimum._

'_B-But Sasuke-kun, don't you know what day it is?' She cried, hoping he would remember. Their day could still be saved. Maybe if they just went for ice-cream and then straight to his apartment…_

"Your character, Sakura, is setting her standards too low."

"Oh, now why is that?"

"She shouldn't settle for anything less than a five-star restaurant. That's where all the good ice-cream is served."

"I'll keep that in mind."

'_Go away, you're annoying.' How she loved how his eyes went cold whenever he said that. It made him that much more attractive._

_Character Sighting: Haruno Sakura-_

_Kunoichi and part of Uchiha's three-man team. At the top of her graduating class, it's a wonder he hasn't fallen for her…their other teammate certainly has. What man could resist her flowing pink hair and sparkling green eyes? Countless men have fallen at her feet and yet she is holding adamantly to the one who refuses her. Is she going to continue to hold a flame for the Uchiha or will she finally accept one of Naruto's offers?_

"Kakashi, you do realize you're writing about your team right?"

"I do."

"Are you sure they aren't gonna get…I don't know, mad?"

"Why would they? It's an honor to be featured. If you want to Asuma, I can put you in too."

"Thanks Kakashi, but I'm good. Leave me out of your porn."

"It is not porn, it's a literary wonder!"

"You keep telling yourself that…want a smoke?"

"I'm good."

**I bet you all wanna review and tell me how much you love it! If you do, I can love you too!**


	3. Love Lost on a Lover

**Note: hello...my life is going good, so i think i'm actually going to write more for everyone! I have chapters 4 and 5 typed i think...i'll go type chapter six now! cause i'm so bored...ah, airconditioning is my best friend, especially when it makes my room an icebox!! yosh!**

**Listening to: Clocks by Coldplay**

**Disclaimer: how about we all pool our money and buy naruto together?? i'm totally for it, as long as i get my itachi-chan...if no one wants orochimaru, i can give him to my sister for the birthday present i forgot XD**

_Chapter 3: loved lost on a lover_

_He had openly expressed his love for her. It was widely known that Konoha's number one unpredictable ninja had the hots for the Hokage's apprentice. The only one who didn't know, or care, was the female herself._

_She was such a confusing woman. First she'd reject him, then come crying to him, then laugh at him, then with him, then whack him again, then ignore him. This list went on and on. But he knew, deep, deep down, she loved him…right?_

"Hey Akamaru,"

"woof!"

"FETCH!"

"WAAAA! KIBA, WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!"

"It's a stupid book Kakashi. Admit it!"

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU GO FEEDING IT TO YOUR DOG!"

"…it doesn't?"

_Watching her trail after the teme was pure torture for two reasons. Sasuke was taking her for granted, treating her like crap. That wasn't how you treated girls, even he knew it. The other reason was that Sakura then turned around and did the same to him, albeit more physically violent, so he was able to experience firsthand how his hurtful rejections felt like._

_So he continued to be there for her. He liked watching her, appreciating what the teme didn't. He liked watching her hair swish around her soft face while she punched the ground with a solid punch. What he liked best was the expression she wore when she knew she had been underestimated. It was a triumphant smile, and her eyes were full of pride._

"Why are you showing me this?"

"I thought you might like it Shino. You don't read much, so I thought you were waiting for a literary wonder such as this."

"It's not about bugs."

"Yes, but it is about my wonderful team!"

"I'm not interested."

"Wait, don't stop! You haven't gotten to the best part!"

"Does it involve bugs?"

"Well…no…but its still— don't leave! Come on, just one more page!"

_She was over at his house, again. Where was Ino when you needed her? He didn't know how to deal with a sobbing girl, but since it was his Sakura-chan, he'd try._

'_S-Sakura-chan, are you okay?' He asked tentatively__._

'_What do you think?!' She glared at him, tears still streaming down her face. He winced._

_He apologized. It had been a stupid question, 'What's wrong?'_

_Her only response was to increase her sobbing and tighten her hold on his pillow. He tried thinking of different causes of the water works, but only one came up, 'Was it Sasuke-teme?'_

'_DON'T CALL HIM THAT!' the outburst and avoidance of the question were enough for him to guess that it was._

"What do you think Hinata-chan?"

"K-Kakashi-san…w-w-what is…I-I mean…"

"Oh, come on! You gotta admit it's a literary wonder!"

"I-It certainly is interesting…"

"See! I knew you'd like it!"

"W-wait, I-I-I d-don't know a-about that…"

"You mean you don't like it?!"

"N-no i-it's not that, b-but a-ano I-I--"

"It's okay, I know what you mean! It's too amazing for words!"

"T-that it certainly is…"

'_Sakura-chan!' He cried valiantly, 'You gotta stop pining after the teme! He's a jerk and not good enough for you! You should be with someone who will treat you right! Like me, Dattebayo!'_

_The sobbing girl let out a laugh, 'You're wrong,' she said quietly, 'I'm not good enough for him…'_

'_YES YOU ARE SAKUR-CHAN! You work harder than anyone else! You should get whoever you want! Except the teme, cause he doesn't deserve you! You shouldn't want him!'_

_She looked sadly at the ground, 'b-but that's just it! I don't want to want him, but every time I see him, my heart starts beating real fast! I can't not want him Naruto! I just can't!' His heart broke when she screamed the last words. He knew how hard it was to give up the one you loved._

"Kakashi! Have you been showing this to children?!"

"Well, it is about them…"

"It doesn't matter! You better not have shown this to Hinata! You know how she feels about Naruto."

"Don't worry, I'll have her in this too."

"WHAT?! You will not be putting my students in your porn!"

"Ah, come on Kurenai! It won't be the same without your lovely students!"

"NO!!"

_Character Sighting: Uzumaki Naruto-_

_This Hokage wannabe is perhaps the only Ninja that could possibly achieve the title. Konoha's number one most unpredictable shinobi would be quite a catch with his sparkling blue eyes, spiky blond hair, and tan skin he could win anyone…right? Not with his sometimes best friend and longtime rival, Uchiha Sasuke around! But they aren't just rivals in physical achievements, but also in Love. Can Naruto win Sakura's heart or will he emerge from his obliviousness and notice his silent shadow…?_

**Note: oh oh oh!! great idea! why don't you guys vote for your favorite reaction to kakashi-sensei's wonderful book!! i just can't decide...for this chapter it has to be Kiba, but for the whole thing...hmm...Reviews are appriciated and motivating! YOSH!**


	4. Silently Watching

**Note: LOL i love tenten...you'll see why soon enough. YOSH we must protect youthful hinata's youthful love! hehe, sorry, that was a lee moment...ever done that before? i bet you have. oh IMPORTANT! i'm not updating next week cause i'm on vacation, but expect double after...hopefully...**

**Listening to: Soak up the Sun (Sheryl Crow)**

**Disclaimer: who wants to own naruto? if you give me a hundred dollars i'd give him to you, but since i don't own him that's kinda illegal...**

_Chapter 4: Silently Watching._

_She watched him. To her it seemed inconspicuous. Naruto certainly didn't recognize it. Oh how she wished he did! She loved him so much! He was her love, her inspiration, her hope. It was a desolate fate to be put in the Hyuuga family. She was constantly told it wasn't worth it and that she wasn't good enough. Naruto helped her to keep going. He was her hero._

"Kakashi."

"Hmm…oh, yes Neji?"

"You are writing about my cousin."

"Whatever led you to that conclusion?"

"…"

"Fine, fine, I get your point. Yes, this is Hinata."

"…you get five seconds to start running."

"B-but, Neji, come on man--"

"One!"

"--It's not that big of--"

"Two!"

"--deal! I mean, she's gonna be a star!"

"Three, four, five! Hakke Rokujuuyonshou!"

_Oh how she longed for him to see her. She would give him her Byakugan if it came to that, just allow him to notice._

_Sometimes she fantasized about the day he would finally ask her out. It wouldn't be the way he asked out Sakura. She would be casually walking down the street when she would see him on an enormous horse, ridding down the street towards her. He would look at her with such smoldering eyes and tell her to get on. In the dream she didn't blush, only look demurely down until she saw his hand which would pull her up and they would ride off into the sunset or to his apartment and make sweet, sweet love._

_That would be the best part of course, filled with passion and softness and love. That's why she was saving herself. Not for her clan, not for her husband, but for Naruto._

"Tenten! Don't read that! Kakashi has insulted Hinata-sama! Quick, destroy it before it gets published!"

"Oh Neji put a sock in it! Sorry about Neji, Kakashi-san. _It's his time of month._"

"I understand. He's actually the person who gave me the bruises."

"He did?! Hyuuga Neji, what have I told you about using the Hakke Rokujyuuonshou?!"

"But Tenten, he is besmirching both Hinata-sama and the Hyuuga clan's honor!"

"No buts young man! That is a dangerous technique! Tomorrow you can spar with Lee."

"But Tenten--"

"You heard her Neji. Go train with Gai's most youthful student. I wish you luck."

"Piss off Kakashi."

"Neji, be nice. Hey Kakashi, are you gonna put me in that book?"

"If you want me to dear Tenten, both you and all of your blossoming teammates may be featured in my literary wonder!"

"Oh goodie, but just FYI, Neji's gay."

"I am not!"

'_Hey Sakura-chan, wanna go to Ichiraku with me? I have two free tickets!'_

'_Hell no Naruto! I've already told you fifty times!' Sometimes, Hinata really hated Haruno Sakura. She was such a hypocrite._

_Character Sighting: Hyuuga Hinata-_

_This shy girl is the product of much verbal abuse from the esteemed Hyuuga Clan. Having always been considered weak, she early on learned from her classmate Naruto that even nobodies can become great. Her admiration quickly turned into love, but it was unseen by the recipient. Will she be doomed to watch as he is taken by another or will she gather her courage?_


	5. Jealously Misplaced

**Note: hello! I'm back from vacation and am now going to update! Originally, i wasn't planning to this week, but we got back a day early, but i didn't feel like updating (you wouldn't either if you lacked that much sleep) but then i felt guilty so here i am!**

**Listening to: Viva la Vida (Coldplay's happy new song :)**

**Disclaimer: yeah...i really don't own it. but i do have a shrine that has pretty pictures in my closet. i am now an official fangirl!!**

_Chapter 5: Jealously misplaced_

_She considered herself a rather plain sort of girl. In all aspects, Tenten had very plain features: from her hair to her eyes to her build the kunoichi was very average. She liked it that way most of the time. The only time she didn't was when she wanted to be noticed._

_Neji rarely noticed her as anything other than a training partner. She had tried several times in varying ways to get him to notice her, but he didn't. When she tried to care about her appearance he said nothing, when she tried to get him jealous by calling other guys cute he did nothing. It was so…like him!_

"YOSH! Your youth shall prevail oh blossom of the youthful team Gai-sensei!"

"Does that mean you like it?"

"Your writing is extremely youthfully poetic oh rival of the esteemed Gai-sensei! How I wish I had your way with words that I might write something so beautiful to the youthful Sakura-san."

"I'm glad you like it Lee. Would you by chance mind if I put you in it as well?"

"I would be most honored by Kakashi-sensei putting me in his youthful literary wonder!"

"Great! I'm going to go start writing that now."

"Yosh! May your pen create marvelous works that are worthy of the great Gai-sensei's rivalry!"

'_Hey Neji, did you hear that the Uchiha's back?' her eyes shone with inner hope that today he would go and rip the other guy's insides out and then come back and forcefully tell her that she couldn't talk like that about other boys and then he'd ravage her…_

'_Yes, and it would be wise for you, Tenten, not to go near him…' here it was! After so many years, Hyuuga Neji would admit his undying love for her, '…because he extremely unstable. We would not want you injured or killed, as that would disrupt the team dynamics__.__'_

_Damn Neji. Getting her hopes up like that._

"YOSH! My hip and cool rival has yet again beat me!"

"Oh, and how have I done that Gai?"

"You have written what is clearly a literary wonder capturing the very youthfulness of your being! Never have I, Maito Gai ever seen such a display! Never fear oh hip and cool rival! I too shall set out and create a novel of youth so that it may rival yours!"

"No, no, that's quite alright Gai. I don't think Konoha is quite ready for such a display…"

'_Tch, whatever Neji, you don't own me. Come on, we gotta start training.' No way was she going to stay away from Uchiha Sasuke, not when Neji had ordered her to._

_Character Sighting: Tenten-_

_This weapons expert of a Kunoichi strives to be just like her idol, Tsunade-sama. She is a great ninja, with brown hair tied practically into two buns and matching brown eyes giving her a very plain, yet useful, look. Her affections are currently placed on her teammate, but for how long? If he continues to ignore her, Tenten might just take her love right back and give it to someone more deserving._

"Kakashi,"

"Yes Tsunade-sama?"

"This is another one of Jiraiya's books isn't it?"

"Well, I wouldn't consider it worthy of the Icha Icha title yet…"

"But it _is_ based on the stuff, right?"

"Well…"

"Is it based on the crap he writes?"

"Sort of…"

"Give it to the Uchiha."

"Why?"

"So he can burn it."

**Note: okay, there's Lee, Gai-sensei, and Tsunade's reactions and Tenten's introduction into the story. I have Neji's all planned out (hehehe) but i can't seem to think of what to do with Lee. If anyone has ideas, they'd be welcome (I have the love of Sakura part, but other than that...hmm...) well, i think about it when i go to church tomorrow (i don't listen, i plan my fanfictions there XD) so i wish you a super special awesome week and see you next friday!**

**PS: reviews are good for the soul**


	6. He Didn't Have Any

**Note: hehe, looks like i'm gonna start updating Saturdays doesn't it? Well, we'll see. I may/maynot update next week due slight writer's block. I may stop introducing characters to get plot in, but i'm not sure yet. Anymewho, thank you to all who reviewed (i've forgotten to say that haven't I...) this chapter was written with your motivation!**

**Listening to: In Your Eyes (Kylie Minogue) (ITACHI'S SONG!!)**

**Disclaimer: Like shell i own Naruto? I barely know Japanese...TT.TT kyuu...i'm learning though (kinda, sorta, not really...)**

"Hey Gaara, wanna read my book?"

"…"

"It's really good!"

"…"

"It's based on some of the other shinobi, the ones you faced in the Chuunin exams. Naruto is in it!"

"…I'll read it, but if I find you have insulted him in any manner, you might be found dead in an unknown location possibly between here and rock."

"You know what, I just realized it isn't really finished yet, I should probably go work some more…"

_Chapter 6: He didn't have any_

_Hyuuga Neji had always considered himself a protégé. Even through all the angst fits and beliefs in fate, he knew he was better than everyone around him. When you're better than everyone, there are two ways you can do it: have good qualities others don't have, or not have the faults of others._

_Hyuuga Neji was a combination. He had the Byakugan, and the mind to use it. But what he didn't have that faulted everyone else was hormones. This fact has been tested numerous times by the constant risings of the force known by many names but referred to here as fangirl._

"Bwahahahahaha! My god Kakashi-san, what the hell is this? It's hilarious!"

"I'm glad you like it Temari. I'm learning that fewer and fewer people are really appreciating a literary wonder for what it is."

"Oh, it's a wonder certainly. You capture likenesses very well. I'm impressed."

"Why thank you."

"There's just one little thing…"

"And what's that?"

"Am I and my siblings going in this?"

"If you want to!"

"Oh yes, we want to a right…hehe, make Kankuro's story really bad."

"And why would I do that?"

"He stole my chocolate, the bastard."

"My, my, that is a crime. Don't worry Temari darling, he won't get away with that."

_This force, which has plagued many over the years, is a terrifying thing, one that can reduce even the bravest shinobi to hiding for fear of being overwhelmed. Hyuuga Neji was perhaps one the Konoha's elite shinobi. He was a genius, yet here he was, crouched in a dark closet, waiting._

Disgusting_ he thought to himself. It was a sad fate, after all, when one could not defend oneself because the attackers are "civilians". Like hell, those things were the second most annoying thing in the world. The first being…_

'_HYUUGA NEJI, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!'_

'_Shut up Tenten, they might hear you!' He pulled her in as well, hoping that they wouldn't see._

'_NEJI YOU GET OUT OF MY CLOSET OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL DIP YOUR HAIR IN MUD AND BRUSH IT WITH WEEDS!'_

_Maybe hiding in her closet wasn't the best idea…_

"Just one question: is this the guy who looks like a girl and beat up his cousin in the Chuunin exams way back when?"

"Indeed he is Kankuro."

"And his teammate is the girl Temari faced…?"

"Yup."

"Hehehe, nice Kakashi, real nice."

_Ten minutes later he found himself in a very, very large pickle. Not only had Tenten carried out her threat when he had tried to explain, she had called the Neji Hotline and told them he would be outside her apartment in three minutes…_

_They took two to get there. He saw them coming as he backed slowly away from his teammate's growing murderous aura, "shit" being the only word going through his mind. Not only would his fangirls have him, but the entire village would see his muddied and weed-infested hair._

_Today was not a good day for Hyuuga Neji, but then, most birthday's weren't.._

_Character Sighting: Hyuuga Neji-_

'_Protégé' is the word used to describe him by his family. 'Youthful Genius of Team Gai' is the title given to him by his sensei. However, neither description depicts Neji for what he really is. There is really only one person who truly knows the being that is Neji. Tenten describes him perfectly when she stated that he is an 'emotionless Ass who spends waaay too much time on his hair.'_

"Kakashi-san, showing me this book isn't going to get you out of the hospital any faster."

"Come on Shizune! Isn't a literary wonder a 'get out of hospital free' card?"

"It is not and I don't want to know who or what gave you that notion. Now go to room 105 and someone will be with you shortly."

"But I really must continue writing…"

"Write in the room then. You are getting a checkup and if you don't go willingly, I'll get Sakura-san."

"You wouldn't!"

"Excuse me, Yumi-san, could you please call Sakura-san. Tell her Kakashi-san is here and--"

"Okay, okay! I'm going!"

**Note: So yeah, might not update next week, but the guilt factor could push me enough that i will. shruggs please review and motivate this otherwise lazy (and somewhat brain dead) writer!**


	7. and so the Mess Begins

**Note: I LOVE YOU ALL! Hehehe, sorry about the semi-late update, stuff (like parties, babysitting, and writer's block...or rather swamp, cause i have so many ideas but I'm having trouble piecing them together...) has come up. Anymewho, I want to thank you all for reading, and hope you like this next chapter!**

**oh, and I apologize! I was going to put Lee in here, but...I just couldn't come up with anything. So you got some plot (cough cough yeah, this story has some?).**

**Listening to: Holiday (Boys like Girls)**

**Disclaimer: hmm...i own Naruto. Cause, you know, i have enough time, money, patience, and so on, to have that kind of responsibility. yeah...no. I kinda wish i did though...not really.**

_Chapter 7: And so the Mess Begins_

_It was just another day for Team Seven. It had been surprisingly easy to fall back into the schedule they had before Sasuke went to the Emo Farm…_

"KATON GOUKAKYUU NO JUTSU!!"

"Gyaa! Sasuke, what'd you do that for?! You burned my Literary Wonder!"

"Gee, I wonder."

"I thought you'd prefer the term 'Emo Farm' over something more…provocative term?"

"I had a mission. To complete the mission, I was supposed to burn that book. Take it up with Tsunade if you have any questions."

"What a cruel woman! But I'm sorry to say Sasuke that you won't be getting paid. See, I took precautions. This isn't the real work. And just for that little stunt you pulled, I'm going to keep 'Emo Farm' in there."

"If you do I will not hesitate to kill you."

"My life means nothing without my writing."

"If you continue to write, I'll make sure you never reproduce. I'll cut it off real slowly."

"My my, what did Orochimaru teach you?"

_**Note from the Editor: due to personal circumstances in Hatake Kakashi's life, he will be unable to write for the next several months. He does however, assure the general public that his problem will be dealt with and he will be back in full gear as soon as possible.**_

"All right Kakashi-sensei. I would say that you're free to go. Though I still don't understand how you got so many injuries from tripping down the stairs..."

"Well, apartment staircases are quite long."

"…and that Sasuke-kun came in the next day, with even more bruises than you, saying he'd accidentally walked through a construction site."

"It'd be better if you didn't know the specifics Sakura."

"It's about your book isn't it?"

"You're just so clever. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find the manuscript in the layers of dust in my apartment! I'll see you later Sakura."

_It was just another day for Team Seven. It had been surprisingly easy to fall back into the schedule they had before Sasuke went to the __Emo Farm__ Orochimaru's Place. Sasuke had arrived on the bridge first, followed closely by Sakura. Naruto would come later, and Kakashi after that, but until then it was just the two of them._

'_Ano, Sasuke-kun, do you wanna train before Naruto comes? He won't be here for at least another twenty minutes, so we could at least warm up…'_

_Before she could get an answer, Sakura was interrupted by a certain brown haired girl who fell out of one of the many trees surrounding the river and into a rather prickly bush with an 'Oomph' and a curse. Both occupants of the bridge turned towards the sound, only to see the girl rubbing her head awkwardly, 'ehehe…sorry 'bout that! Didn't mean to disturb the moment,'_

_The comment brings the rosette haired young woman's eyes back to Sasuke, who is looking at the other girl in distaste, 'so, ano…Sasuke-kun, do you wanna?'_

_It was only then that he finally looked at her, but she wished he hadn't: the glare she received was worse than the one he gave the newcomer, 'No.'_

_Just as she was about to turn away to hide her tears she noticed that the other, conveniently forgotten girl had appeared to have untangled herself from the bush and come up behind her, 'Oh, don't let him get you down! It's just PMS. Neji does the same thing. In fact, I think they might even have the same timing… it's some sort of weird side affect of prodigicalness or something but once a month Neji always seems to have a bigger stick than normal up his ass. It's probably the same with Sasuke here.'_

_Sakura watched as a tick slowly grew under Sasuke's eye as well as on his temple. It was…kind of…cute. Meanwhile, the Uchiha was watching the brown-haired girl like she was crazy. Who wouldn't be? But she wasn't done._

_Tenten turned her head away from the spazzing medic and back to her original target, 'But that's not why I came here. Sasuke, wanna fight?' she watched as his expression became even more confused while Sakura only sputtered._

'_Wh-what? Sasuke-kun doesn't have a…a…'Time of the month!' Tenten! I don't know where you--' she was cut off by the finally able to speak Sasuke:_

'_Why?' his voice was toneless, and Tenten noticed that he had the same reaction to taunting as Neji: ignore it unless it questions your honor or your goal or something like that._

'_Cause Neji's not here, Lee is…well, he's Lee, and Neji has always said he wanted to fight you, so I thought, 'if Neji, who has the biggest superiority complex in the entire Shinobi Lands' wants to fight him, then he must pose a reasonable threat to his all powerful ego and if Neji's ego is threatened…well, it's not good.' Plus, I was bored.'_

"Naruto, for the last time, this book is not part of the Icha Icha collection!"

"Oh, come on sensei! If this isn't based off of ero-sennin's stuff, I don't know what is!"

"Naruto, Naruto, Naruto, you really have something to learn about literature. It's not all the same, for a start. For another, it takes quite a bit of experience and skill to write as well as the esteemed Jiraiya-sama."

"I don't care what you say! This stuff is just like what the old pervert writes, and nothing you say is gonna change my mind!"

"What if I buy you ramen?"

"Five and I might consider it a tad bit better."

_The girl was looking for a battle. That was really the only thing that registered in his brain. Asking 'why' had only been reflexive. Knowing that she was just Hyuuga's spy just added to the excitement: how he would spazz when he saw his teammate in bandages. Hopefully, he'd come to revenge her or something and then they could fight for real._

_This opportunity also offered him a look at Hyuuga's teammate, and therefore a look at how someone combats the byakugan and other doujutsus. It was a win-win situation._

'_Alright, let's fight.'_

**Note: HAHAHA this is like, my first ever cliffy type thing! Makes me happy...I wasn't actually going to do this, but figured you all would rather have a cliffy than nothing...right? ((runs and hides)) hehe...oh, and the little notice thing, that's just kinda...funny? i don't know. i was insanely hyper when i wrote that part XD**

**Reviews save paper, but if you want to write to me that's okay too! just pick a PO Box from the TV, i dare you.**


	8. And They’re Off!

**Note: this is my sad, sad attempt at a fight scene. as you can tell, i suck...Oh. About not updating recently: my life is just...my life. I don't have a lot of inspiration as of late, and am trying to find some more. I will try try try to come up with chapters, and i do have ideas. But the whole brain to text road is a long one. Okay, reviews really help!**

**Listening to: Ima Made Nando Mo (Mass Missile) (a Naruto song! )**

**Disclaimer: i can barely keep writing this fic! How would i ever manage Naruto?**

_Chapter 8: and they're off!_

_She threw a kunai at him from the left, only to have him counter it with another of his own. She jumped back quickly, knowing that if she engaged in hand-to-hand combat she would be doomed._

_He came after her with his katana raised. Tenten parried the blow with her own sword, flowing easily into a set of offensive moves after. They clashed for a few moments before her sword twisted up and around his, flinging it from his grip. Sasuke flipped backwards, drawing several shuriken and kunai to throw at her. She dodged them easily, catching a few to send back at him._

_The spar had been going on for nearly twenty minutes in much the same way. Slowly at the start, as if testing the waters, but became more ferocious as they learned more about their opponent. Tenten had been so focused on the dark haired man that she didn't realize they had collected an audience._

_That is, she didn't notice until she felt a certain chakra flare only meters away from where she had landed after spinning over Sasuke's to avoid his fire jutsu._

"Kakashi-sensei, this is a really weird book."

"From you, Ino, I'll take that as a compliment."

"No, I'm serious. If you plan on selling this, I would take Sasuke-kun out of it…especially if he's with some girl."

"And why would I ever dream of such a thing? How could I not publish this masterpiece?"

"Because girls everywhere will kill you for not having you pair him with them. Speaking of that…."

"Ino…what is a chainsaw doing behind the counter…?"

_**Note from the Editor: There has been a tragic accident in Hatake Kakashi's like recently, and he regrets to inform his readers that he will be unable to write for the next week. He has also said that his insurance doesn't include a 'crazy bitches with chainsaws' clause and is looking for donations to help him with his 'ridiculously overpriced medical shit'. Please send any money to P.O. Box 1432 Konoha Ave. Thank you.**_

'_Neji!' her surprised exclamation was noted by Sasuke, and he pulled back his leg from where he had been about to engage Tenten in another hand-to-hand combat. He stood, two meters from Tenten with a smug look on his face._

'_Tenten.' Her teammate's tone would have seemed impassive to those who knew him less, but she could hear his exasperation._

'_Um…what are you doing here? Gai-sensei said we don't have to meet until ten.' Sasuke felt waves of discomfort wash off the girl before him._

_Neji only looked at her, 'I was looking for you. I was under the assumption we were to meet an hour before. It has been a while since we lasted sparred.'_

'_Oh, um, must've completely slipped my mind. Sorry. I'll finish up here if you want to start walking?'_

'_I can wait.'_

'_oh, well then…' Tenten turned to the other, silent boy beside her, 'Um, looks like I haveta go Sasuke-san! You're good though, so maybe we can practice together another time?'_

_He nodded slowly. Before he had the chance to say something else, she was off: walking side by side with the Hyuuga down the road. For some odd reason, anger suddenly rose in his stomach for a second before he was able to look away to where his charmingly late sensei had just arrived._

"So Shikamaru, how do you think the book is going so far?"

"…"

"I don't know if it quite measures up to Jiraiya-sama's work yet, but I do believe it is getting along quite nicely!"

"…"

"Though I do think I should add a bit more romance…what do you think?"

"…"

"Shikamaru…?"

"…"

"SHIKAMARU!"

"Huh…Oh, Kakashi-sempai, why are you disturbing my nap?"

"…never mind."

'_Tenten, why were you talking with Uchiha when I told you he was dangerous?' He wasn't looking at her, but it didn't take much to tell Neji's masked was on and no expression, however small, would slip through._

_She could try though, 'Well, I heard he was suppose to be really strong, so I thought that since you were busy, I'd try expanding my training buddies! His style is kind of like yours you know, but you're a bit more--'_

'_I don't care what you learned Tenten. Stay away from him. I won't tell you again.'_

'_I think I can make my own friends Neji.' With that Tenten stomped ahead of her white-eyed team_

**Note: again, the notice above is just for the sake of the fic. it kinda (not really) applies to my life right now, but not really. I don't know about me, but i know some people who would be less than thrilled with and possibly attack a person who put them in an Icha Icha novel. CHAINSAWS RULE!**


	9. Jumping to Conclusions

**Note: Wow...it feels like i haven't updated this in a while. I blame the lack of inspiring material in my life. It's probably because i have no life, but whatever. Anymewho, school starts soon, so perhaps instead of working i can dream up ideas. YOSH. Oh, IMPORTANT: the format is changed. i decided i didn't like reading/writing in italics, so only the conversations are gonna be that way. sorry to_ i__nconvenience _anyone.**

**Listening to: Why Oh Why (ATC)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Really, i don't.**

**Dedicated to: LEAH (cause i'm not inspired...if i die, you have to write this.)**

Chapter 9: Jumping to Conclusions

"Is that Uchiha Sasuke over there?"

"My, he is certainly handsome, but who is the girl with him?"

"She's not the Hokage's apprentice, that's for sure."

"Now that you mention it, I've seen her come into the store a few times, but she was always with a Hyuuga… "

"You don't think…?"

The question was left unasked when the brown-haired girl spun around suddenly, looking at the ladies with an expression that showed how loose the hold was on her anger, "Would you old gossips mind shutting up for one second! It isn't unusual for shinobi to walk through the village on the way to the training grounds is it? I mean, come on, we're just friends!"

With that, the girl grabbed her companion and roughly jerked him in the direction they were going, muttering all the while about nosy old ladies with too much time and stupid assumptions and this only happening because she was out of cereal.

But Sasuke, usually very alert and apathetic , had other matters on his mind. While his face blank, his preoccupation could be noted by his wrist still caught in Tenten's smaller hand. The thoughts running through his mind were largely on his as of late sparring partner's outburst.

What did she mean by "just friends…"?

"_Oi Teme! Have you seen Kakashi-sensei's new book? It's just like Ero-sennin's, 'cept it's about us!"_

"_Don't speak of that crap to me, dobe."_

"_Why not? It's really cool! I bet me and Sakura-chan are going to end up together and you're gonna end up all alone and you won't be in any of the major sex scenes that are sure to occur--"_

"_Housenka No Jutsu!"_

"_WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! You can't just go around shooting people with fireballs Teme!"_

"_I wasn't aiming for you."_

"_Oh yeah, then what were you aiming at?!"_

"_That book."_

Haruno Sakura was on her way to the hospital when she saw a most peculiar sight. A dark haired man who looked suspiciously like one of her teammates was holding hands with a girl who looked a hell of a lot like Tenten. 'What a funny notion,' the rosette thought to herself as she continued to walk. She would have believed it to be Sasuke and the brown-haired girl, but Uchiha Sasuke _did not hold hands._

…right? Of course right. The green clouding her sight was merely healing chakra getting pumped about another day of _not being Uchiha Sasuke's girlfriend_. It had nothing to do with the fact that another girl, a used to be friend, was sniffing around in _her_ turf.

"_Yo Naruto!"_

"_What's up Kiba?"_

"_Have you read Kakashi's latest installment of Bye-Bye yet?"_

"_Yeah! I even tried to show it to Teme, but he had a large stick up his ass and tried to burn the book!"_

"_Ouch man. Hey, did you see the potential cat fight brewing?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_How could you miss it? Kakashi's totally setting the scene for a massive catfight between Sakura and Tenten! It's gonna be sweet!"_

"_Oh yea, that! Haha, can't wait! Sakura-chan is gonna kick ass!"_

"_You kidding me? This girl's been training with _Neji_! She gotta be killer!"_

"_No way! Sakura-chan is totally going to win!"_

"_Let's put money on it then. 500 yen says that Tenten is going to win."_

"_You're on!"_

A certain blond haired ninja happened to be sitting on at a certain ramen stand when Tenten decided to drop Sasuke's wrist, only to use the now free hand to rub the back of her head apologetically, "Hehe, sorry about that Sasuke-san. Some people can just be so nosy, and I'm not in the mood to put up with it. If it makes you feel better, I can have Neji go all 'Hakke Kuushou' on them. It seems to be his time of the month--"

As the brown haired girl continued to chatter on about Neji and his mood changes that were similar to a certain female happening, her companion's expression darkened slightly. This change could only be detected by few people, the closest being otherwise engaged.

'_Ah, my youthful teammate, you have bested me again! But never fear, for after I complete 5,000 laps around Konoha, I shall train even harder so that one day I might beat you!'_

'_That's great Lee. Oh, before you go, have you been reading Kakashi's…story?'_

'_Of course! Gai-sensei's hip and cool rival has found a new way to express the springtime of youth in a way that even Gai-sensei fails to best--'_

'_That's great, but you do realize that he is writing about Tenten._'

'—_Bye Bye Paradise is quite a marvel! Why, he portrays the youthful Sakura-san in such a way that even I am unable to compete with. YOSH!'_

'_That's great Lee, but we're talking about _Tenten._'_

'_The Youthful Flower of Team Gai-Sensei is also one of my favorite characters! That she is able to be friends with Sasuke-kun was truly a twist of fate. I cannot wait for another issue so that I might read further!'_

'…_you don't get it do you?'_

'_Get what, Neji?'_

'_Never mind, go run your laps or whatever you've created as a punishment today.'_

'_YOSH! Well then, I shall be off! Goodbye Neji!'_

**Note: Apologize for all the misspellings (hopefully there aren't too many...) or grammar mistakes. Really, there shouldn't be. My computer is smart like that.**

**Now, its time to go press the little review button! I know you want to!**


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